A Lesson in Parenthood

So back in September Karis turned 3 years old.  

I was determined to celebrate her birthday with a gift that would be fun, special and exciting for her because she's the hand-me-down girl, right?  

Well this is that story and the lesson I learned in gift giving.  

My brilliant plan was to replace the beat up, "mom, can you fix this"-everyday, stroller that we purchased for like $5, three years ago.  

Its useless, yet used so often.

So, if you've ever researched kid strollers, you might notice that they can cost a lot!  I mean like $100 for one that kinda looked like the one that we already had.  I could have just gone and done the cheapy, but really I wanted something special so I searched and searched and really, in the end I couldn't justify buying something for $40 or more that was not much more than what we had.

So one night I was looking at Walmart.ca when I came across a $10 that seemed to suit the need that I had.  Plastic, yes, but it had a removable carrier and the seat slid up or down to accommodate a sitting or lying down baby.  Sounded great to me so I pressed PURCHASE and waited for the delivery.  I did feel a bit cheap and slightly guilty for only spending $10 on it, but I figured I'd come up with a plan for something else to go along with it.

The very next day, I happened to be in downtown Vancouver and noticed that the huge Sears store was closing down.  Huge sale!!!!  I stopped in and checked out the kids section.  Wouldn't you know it, a huge selection of kids strollers and at a fraction of the price.  So after nearly an hour of picking and choosing among the many, and sorting through all the many different prices on the same item, I walked away with the ESPRIT 3-in-1 Stroller for Kids.   In my opinion, this stroller was ah-mazing and with an original cost of $90, I ended up walking out of the store only paying about $35.  I was convinced that this was perhaps the best gift I had ever purchased for either of my girls.  It was beautiful and I was so excited to give it to her.

So Kevin and I discussed the plan that we would give Karis the stroller and then keep the cheapo one that was coming from Walmart to eventually give to Kamille so that we could replace the crap one we had.  Although we briefly debated if this would take away from Karis' birthday, ultimately we decided that it would be better off to "take away" from some of Karis' day rather than Kamille being left disappointed with the useless stroller and nothing else.

So........

The day I brought the stroller into the house, I hadn't wrapped it because it was much too big to waste more paper on so I had it double bagged in Sears bags and I put it on the floor for Karis to open it.  And that is when things started to not go as planned.  First, Kamille, understanding way more about birthday gifts than Karis, was right in there and pretty much pulling the bags off the box.  She was the first to announce to Karis what it was and her eyes were wide and her smile was full.  Karis was just taking it all in, but not with as much enthusiasm as Kamille!

It didn't take long before Kamille was insisting that Karis would share her new stroller with her, and that they would each take turns with it, and oh my goodness my poor Kamille was falling apart as her eyes feasted on all the stroller pieces that Kevin was taking out of the box.

It came with a bunting bag, a purse, a lower basket for holding things, a sun shade, a moving handle, it went up, it went down.  We all sat with anticipation for the first baby ride as Kevin slowly, assembled the incredible stroller.

look at the way Kamille is looking at it!!!

now i wonder if she's reminded that its not hers.  

karis has her baby all set to go.

And just as it was finished we had to hold Kamille back from negotiating with Karis to have the first push, to put her own baby in it, and to chose which way it was going to face.

We so badly wanted to be happy and celebrate Karis' birthday gift, but with each cheer of excitement we could see the smile fade from Kamille's face.  She was devastated that it was not hers.

But Kevin and I were ready for this...or so we thought.  In a moment of Kamille's pure disappointment, I excused myself from the room and ran down to bring up the Walmart stroller that I had stashed under the house for later.  I picked up that box and proudly announced to Kamille that we had another for her, not the same, but much better than the broken one that we had.

The box showed a photo of a happy girl pushing her bright green, purple and pink stroller around.  But it was in having another stroller box to compare it to that I realized that this new plastic stroller was much smaller than the one we had just assembled and in fact, this new stroller came out of the box in big chucks of plastic that were stuck together and each plastic piece had to be twisted and pulled from each other.  It was the worst looking stroller ever in real life.  But I had to give it my all to keep Kamille's spirits high.

She sat there with me as we pulled out all the pieces and twisted them apart.  She insisted that it was great.  "Mom, my stroller is better than Karis' right?"  "This one is really great, isn't it mom?"  Oh, she was looking for reassurance, she was looking to convince herself that this was a good alternative.  Sadly though, it was the most opposite of a good alternative as it comes.

Eventually she lost interest in my frustrated attempt to quickly assemble the pieces of plastic, and had managed to get some time in with Karis' stroller.  She was good and quick to negotiate shared time with it and convincing Karis that she should be able to use it when Karis wasn't.

When the final chunks of green, purple and pink plastic came together she was right there to put her baby into it and take it for a ride - if only the fake plastic wheels would turn properly.  Good grief, this was a disaster.  Kamille was way to big for the stroller that she was so desperately trying to love.  Her voice, her body language, her expression was begging for affirmation that her stroller was just as good.

um, ya.  nice try. 

Oh my sweet girl!  It wasn't long before she was curled in my lap in tears.  She couldn't face it.  I couldn't believe that I had even thought it was a good idea to do this.   Somehow we managed to settle her and I think the phrase "Put it on your Christmas list" was the only way we could help her to move forward with hope for something better for herself.

I was so mad at myself.  Kevin and I had to hug it out in the kitchen.  Both kicking ourselves and giggling at the experience, we decided that this was ultimately one of of those lessons of parenthood that we would not forget.

We decided that from now on, a birthday is a birthday and we will allow for there to be excitement for the other and for the gifts, and that jealously or envy may be a part of that, but that they are all feelings that can be understood, worked through and managed - not to be covered up, especially with a less than stellar plan like the one that that we had.

Thankfully the girls now play beautifully with the amazing stroller.  I do think that Kamille gets her way with it quite often, but they both love playing little mama and are great to share the accessories that it came with.  That plastic stroller doesn't get much use and it will definitely become our "outdoor" stroller come the Spring season. I don't think its a huge surprise that there is not even a mention of a stroller on Kamille's Christmas list right now.

Oh my.  What a lesson, indeed.

Music, Music Festivals and Kids

In early October Kevin moved our TV from out of the spare room/office/multi-purpose room and back into the main living room where my amazing carpet, couch and ottoman are.  One year or previous to this we decided to put it up there to see if we could further reduce our exposure to random TV watching.  Even though we don't have cable, we have Netflix and it seems that if the TV is visible in the main part of the  house we were more likely to sit and turn something on, or the girls were more likely to ask for it to be on rather than playing with puzzles, drawing or something else.

Anyway, this didn't go as planned and I felt like our living, playing, TV watching time moved into this small random room and we neglected our open, carpeted, amazing space that I have loved and lounged in in the past.   Well with my TV reunited with my carpet, couch and ottoman, I feel like my home is AWESOME!  As in I want to be in that space all the time.  I love it.  What makes the biggest difference now is that with our Apple TV box we can stream iTunes Radio and so now we always have music on.

Music!  I forget how great music is for me when I am not listening to it regularly!  My perfect daytime set up - streaming 80s music while watching my iphoto photostream moving across the screen of the TV.  So awesome.  The girls are partial to the Justin Bieber Radio by Gloom, Kevin is on a huge Adele kick right now and he also just turned us all on to the DJ, Hardwell.   Its been great.

So where am I going with this?  Its about the Music.

This past summer, my girls, Kevin and I had the opportunity to experience two very different, yet both amazing music festivals with our girls.

I had picked up tickets for Live at Squamish as Kevin's Father's Day gift.  I figured what better way to celebrate "Fatherhood" than the gift of being together with your family, outdoors and surrounded by community and music!   In the end, I felt like it was just the perfect event to keep us away from our trailer for at least one weekend in the summer.  ; )

It was a couple years ago that we went to the first ever Live at Squamish music festival.  We had scored free tickets back then and took the girls for the experience.  What a great time that was, we knew that in the two years that had passed, it was bound to be an even better experience for us all.
I'd say the fact that kids are free to this festival, is a double thumbs up for the organizers, because if you plan an event this big in a community that's 60% under 40 (and likely families with kids), then we're gonna come and support it.

And its not a hard event to support when the headliners are the all-Canadian classic, The Tragically Hip and the beautiful music of City and Colour.

Now, I am not a big music follower or festival go-er, but I am always open to the experience of hearing new music, especially when the event is pretty much happening in our big backyard.

And it really doesn't get any better when this is your backdrop and the sun is this warm on your skin!  Looooooved it!

We actually attended all weekend long, starting of Friday night.  The gates opened at 5pm and we came for dinner.  It was neat walking around and socializing while the energy and excitement for the weekend settled in us.

We were quick to return as soon as we could on Saturday - just to hang out and be with all that positive energy.

this space did not stay like this for too long...

As the day went on, the crowd grew, the music played and the sun just kept on shining.

There were 4 different stages to take in.  Sadly there was quite a big car accident on the highway to town so some of the acts were delayed and it started off a bit sideways, but that was it, no other blips in the entire weekend.

The girls loved it because we ran into so many of their little friends.    I think Karis was quite curious about it all.

Chillin' in the sun, listening to live music.

And as the music played, the crowds got bigger and more energized.

Oh, and those Burlesque Lawn Mower girls were there again this year too - because they make you look and giggle.

So as I said, there weren't a lot of acts that I was familiar with in the line up.  Or if I was familiar with a song, I likely didn't know who was the name of the band or artist that played it.  However Brett Denning was one who I had heard of and thought I might check out and we did just that, barely.  I managed to hear the one song that I knew of as we made it back to this stage just in time before he finished.

Oh and look who was also there!
Fancy meeting you here on this fine weekend!  Did you bring a bag of chips Stacey?  We need chips on this weekend away from our trailer!

So for Saturday we pretty much got a feel for the bouncing back and forth between stages.  The girls went along with it, just as long as we made frequent purchases of over-priced french fries and regularly collected sample-sized bags of the chips and bottles of chocolate milk that were being given out as freebies to all the festival goers! 

We stayed with the girls until about 5 or so and then we brought them home for some real, good food.    We had hired a babysitter to come at 7pm with the hopes of going back to catch Lights, The Tragically Hip and Chromeo.  It was going to be a date night for Kevin and I.    

With things being off to a slow start because of the highway accident, we figured that our casual pace to get back would be fine.  We were social with friends as we arrived back at the bike vallet.  And I was really looking forward to catching Lights on the stage. Well, as Kevin and I made a dash for mid crowd as we arrived to the sound of Lights, we were sadly disappointed to hear he wind up her song and thank everyone for coming out just as we were moving through the crowd! Nooooooooooooooo!  I was so totally bummed.  How did that happen?  How did we totally miss her?  Of the three that I really wanted to see, Lights, Chromeo and City and Colour, I was not starting off well.  Anyway, it was a funny laugh for Kevin and I.  

After night fell, we met up with Rory.  The three of us made our way into the Silent Disco where I had danced in front of the DJ while Kevin and Rory hung back and had a beer.  We were waiting for The Hip.  Both Kevin and Rory had seen them before, but not me.  I took in my first true-Canadiana experience of seeing The Tragically Hip in concert.  It. was. amazing.  I was really amazed by Gord Downie's performance.  What a show he and the band put on.  I can see why they are so addictive to see live.  

I managed to convince Kevin to get on over to see Chromeo to end off our night of music.  Again, I was so excited for the live beats, and although Kevin is not a huge fan of Chromeo, he should be and I tried to get him to love them.  Surely the rest of the crowd and myself did!   Dancing outside to fun music is such a great way to end a great day and night!!  

Day 2.

The next morning, the sun was not shining as brightly as the day before, but it did not dampen the festival's energy in the least.  

The mower girls were out at it again.....

We opted for a spot at the main stage and camped for the afternoon.  I wasn't sure what to expect for music that day, but we were pleasantly surprised by how great the stage was!

We found some girls friends and the girls had such a great time running around and dancing.

Kevin and I were most impressed by a band called The Air Borne Toxic Event.  Such great great music.

More grub for eats....

Someone offered to take our photo!

Everything was going awesome and Kevin and I made it our plan to hit the silent disco with the girls for a while. Knowing that Kevin and I love electronic, I was totally looking forward to this.

 

Karis was intrigued....

And I'd be lying if I told you that I didn't want to adopt Kamille out for just a second during this experience!  ; )  Kevin, Karis and I were having such a fun time dancing around, interacting with the other silent disco goers on the other side of the "family friendly" cage we were in, but Kamille. OMG!  She complained and whined.  She did not want to be there.  She wanted to go and find her girlfriends out in the crowds.  Kevin and I were so totally bummed by her lack of interest.  We wanted to stay!  We ended up leaving and I *might* have had a wee bit of a tantrum in my mind, but whatever........

It was such a fun event to bring them to, regardless.

That night I went back and met friends to take in Dallas Green of City and Colour.  Oh, he did not disappoint.  Such and incredible voice and show.  AND, because I was all on my own, I decided to extend my night and dance it right to the end at the other stage where Mark Farina was spinning.  So much fun.  I ran into some others that I knew and stayed close to them for the night.

This was such a great weekend experience for us all!

Its gonna be bigger and better next year, so already, we're looking forward to it!


And previous to this event in our summer of music, was the Bass Coast music festival which took place at the site where we keep our trailer.  From our experience last year, we knew it would be loud, we knew it would be nearly 24 hours over 4 days.  It was, and we were really excited to be a part of it with our kids!

So we weren't exactly part of it, but its hard not to be when music travels and our area of the campground offered the best place for the party goers to chill out following all night dancing.
Here they come.......

the sign says, "don't stop smiling"  he was carrying it everywhere we saw him.  

So how it worked was, we private site owners were able to say on our sites while the rest of the music festival attendees had the entire campground for the four days.  We also had access to wrist bands so that we could wander through the festival, however we couldn't bring the kids.  During the day we mostly hung out on the island and watched the crowd love our space!   

We tried not to draw attention to the nudity that was going on, but the kids casually acknowledged it and moved on.  Once they all got into the mud it was a non-issue!

There was the additional presence of the RCMP, but the kids thought this was awesome!

And there was mud slingin'.....

But they were just copying us.....

Yes the music was loud All. Weekend. Long.  but really it wasn't much different than Kevin's office on a work day (tee hee) and the constant and repetitious beats made for a nice lullaby at the end of long day in the sun.  They party went from about 11am till about 6am.  So only about 5 hours of quiet during every breakfast over the four days.   I wonder how those who were sleeping managed any through the four kids who were up and running around in the morning!  ; )

The most amazing thing about this festival was that the property swelled with 4000+ people in those days.  4000 people, incredible music and DJ's, amazing art and talent, the set up of the grounds was unreal and you would never believe it was the same space we spend most of our weekends.  Kevin and Rory spent time on the bikes riding through at different times of the day, and so did Stacey and I.  I loved seeing all the amazing costumes, the art and hearing the music.  Oh that electronic, drum and bass music just gets inside and reminds me of the good old days of partying.  Such great energy.

I am sure there is so much more to write about on this experience but with nearly 4 months passed since it happened, I am lost for words and clear memories of what to write about.  These pictures tell more about the experience that we observed.

Anyway, it was Monday morning before we let the kids venture off our site.  The campgrounds were completely full.  I can't even express how full.  As in one-way roads, and tents on every square inch of land that wasn't in water.  I knew the kids would be amazed and confused by it all so I took them for a walk after some of the crowds had dispersed.

this is empty as compared to what it looked like in full.  

It was funny to see the kids' reactions.  Soooo many people.  So many garbage bins and extra toilets brought in. People wearing funny clothes and costumes......

again, you could barely drive a car on this road during the weekend.  

or nothing at all.  Of course right as we are walking in the direction of one tent a young gal came stretching out of her tent and walking towards us - in the nude.  Um, kids.  Lets just keep walking right this way.  They couldn't help but turn and watch.  Yes, yes she is nude.  She must have forgot to put on her pyjamas last night!  ; )

Ah, the fun.

this was in the privacy of our private space

So this summer was full of fun musical adventures for us.
Two more great experiences to share with our kids and such fun for adults too.  I love sharing experiences like these with the kids because it gives them new ideas on what this big world can offer.  Bit by bit it will start to make sense to them.
Music, art, talent, sharing an experience.  Its all good, especially with family.